39 - Expectation

Expectation

Expectation may not be the root of all evil but is frequently very much involved. Many divorces, perhaps the majority, can be based on expectation. Lost friendships might also be included. Seldom is it realized that what you expect, and don’t receive, can cause havoc in any relationship. It also is possible that you might not realize that you are operating in the expectant mode.

You may come home from work and expect your children to be delighted with your arrival. They’re not. They only want your attention to tell you what happened to them
in school today. No “Hi! Glad you’re home Mom, when’s dinner?” More important where’s the hug or the kiss or maybe a great smile when they see you? That doesn’t seem too hard, does it? And you become annoyed with their lack of a warm welcome. Irritation might even set in and can be the beginning of hidden anger, but expectation is the original culprit.

After dinner they may expect you to listen to something that has been bothering them. The truth is that you have to get to your computer right away and send in your daily reports. You expect them to understand. They won’t, anymore than you will understand not getting the welcome home that you expected. That is the beginning of tension brought on by expectation. You each expect tolerance from one another and expect-
ations too often come first. Patience, understanding and concern must wait. That all sounds like exaggeration. It’s not. Similar situations occur daily in all stages of life.

There’s a great problem with expectation. It often invades the relationships that are most important to us. Your children, your spouse, your family and we could go on to friend-ships and business associates. Our opinion of how others should behave and how they should react must all be in accordance to what we expect of them. The wonder is that when expectation is removed, acceptance takes its place. Now life becomes easier with more understanding. You don’t expect your children to come running to kiss you when you arrive home. Instead when you open the door, you open your arms to hug them and joyfully accept the moment of being their Mom. They’ll soon understand that greeting Mom is wonderful.

I’ve spoken of parent and child but the same concept includes husband and wife, families and friends. When expectations are gone, understanding, accepting and caring takes its place. Life takes on a new peace and beauty.

There was an old adage that I’ve altered some. For me it says:

“The road to Hell Is Paved With Expectations.”