Blessings
I periodically count my blessings and though I believe I have lived a charmed life I also know what is most important to me in that life. My children. That includes my in-law children and my grandchildren. They also are an extremely important part of my Reflections. My in-law children and my namesake, granddaughter Vailia, have brought wonder and joy into my life and have each written a letter that I cherish. I’m attaching their expressions of love to explain why I feel so blessed by having them in my life. These letters are very special to me. Each one is a treasure that is buried in my soul and will go on with me forever.
Vailia’s letter was the first I received. It was written for my birthday. She was only about 17 when she wrote it, she is now 27 and our relationship stays the same. I’ve written about her in earlier Reflections, I now will remember the tiny Vailia when she frequently came to Granny’s house for dinner. Everything was fine until her parents decided to go home. That’s when the problem began with Vailia crying, “I don’t want to go,” and the sad little voice made my heart break. Secretly, of course, I loved her wanting to stay with me… but I didn’t want her crying so hard. Eventually her father would pick her up, put her over his shoulder, with her little arms held toward me, as she cried, “Panny, Panny” (She had not yet been able to say Granny). One night, as they were leaving, I took her little hand in mine and began pretend crying. “Don’t cry, Panny,” she asked. “I won’t, if you won’t,” I replied. “I won’t.” she said sadly. She never did again… and I remained the only one left crying when my house was empty of Vailia.
David’s letter was next. He married my daughter Robin when he was very young. Young enough to know the pain of losing his mother when he was only thirteen years old. At nineteen he still needed a mother and I could fill that role. In spite of the fact that he wasn’t Jewish, which presented some problems, he touched my heart and we rapidly became parent and child. The problems of his not being Jewish brought about the normal concerns that parents feel with inter-religious marriages. How would the grandchildren be raised? What religion would they follow? How will we celebrate the holidays? Most important, I wanted to be able to take my grand- children to the temple. To be there when my grandson celebrated his Bar-Mitzvah or when my Vailia married under a Chupah. I wanted to share with them the importance of the Seder. But regardless of faith, David became Dov, my son. He would always stay “my son.”
Debby’s letter arrived later. She and my son, Bruce, just celebrated their 30th Wedding Anniversary and I have had the delight of having her in my world all those years. For me Debby is the answered dream of every mother-in-law’s hope. I have watched her develop into a strong, compassionate, independent woman. I am so proud of her and her ability to cope with the occasional traumatic problems that have occurred during their marriage. She has risen above every difficulty with dignity and grace. It is true that our relationship was bumpy during the early years. I think that is probably so with most mothers and daughter-in-law’s early period of adjusting to each other. What it takes is a great deal of patience, understanding and willingness to grow. It doesn’t happen overnight, but when it does you are blessed with a very special relationship of a daughter-in-law who is also a dear daughter and your best friend.
The letters follow……..
No comments:
Post a Comment